This blog contains mention of sexual assault. Please read with care.
1800 Respect provides free, confidential counselling, information and support for those experiencing domestic, family or sexual violence. They’re available 24 hours, 7 days a week through a call or text to 1800 737 732.
Confused about consent? Let’s clear that up
Sex education has evolved massively since we introduced it into NSW communities in 1942, with consent and healthy relationships now forming a greater part of the Personal Development, Health and Physical Education (PDHPE) curriculum.
Today, consent is a key focus in our resources and community education programs, as well as courses for educators and community workers.
That’s because it’s important for people of all ages and genders to understand consent. Clear communication is key in practising and respecting consent both offline and online.
Ask, don’t assume
Affirmative consent has been the law in NSW since 2022, which means a person must say or do something to indicate they consent before the person they are with can continue with any sexual activity.
Here are some questions you can ask to confirm someone is consenting:
- Can I kiss you?
- What do you feel like doing?
- Do you want to keep going?
- Can I touch you here?
- Does this feel good?
- Are you okay?
A verbal, enthusiastic and non-forced yes is an indication of consent. If someone isn’t responding or says or signals no, it’s important that you stop immediately.
Sexual activity without consent is sexual assault and is illegal in NSW. You can’t assume someone is comfortable because they’re quiet or not resisting; silence is not consent.
To give consent, people need to clearly understand what they are getting into and be able to make their decision freely. If someone is under 16 (the age of consent in NSW), asleep, intoxicated, unconscious, afraid, or tricked into sexual activity, they are not fully informed or free from coercion. This means they can’t consent.
If you’ve experienced sexual assault and would like to speak to someone, you can contact 1800 Respect 24 hours, 7 days a week by calling or texting 1800 737 732.
Communication is key
Discuss boundaries, limits and what you are and aren’t comfortable with before and during any sexual activity. This helps to create a safe environment where everyone involved feels respected and can enjoy themselves.
Some people may choose a ‘safe word’ that can be used to signal when to stop during sex. This can be a useful way to quickly communicate or to pause and check in if something doesn’t feel right.
If someone says no or stop, expresses discomfort, or shows signs they no longer want to continue, end the activity immediately.
Consent is ongoing, not a one-off agreement
You can withdraw your consent at any time, for any reason – you don’t need to justify not wanting to proceed.
If you’re having sex with someone and they withdraw their consent, stop immediately.
Stealthing isn’t consensual
Stealthing is when a condom is removed during sex without the knowledge or agreement of everyone involved. It’s illegal in NSW and is recognised as a form of sexual assault.
Stealthing is non-consensual. It’s a violation of trust and someone’s autonomy to choose how they have sex.
It’s also risky; unprotected sex can lead to unintended pregnancies or STIs.
If you experience stealthing, seek medical attention. GPs or Family Planning Australia clinics can test you for STIs, provide emergency contraception, and refer you to support services.
Ultimately, consent is about respect and communication. If you’re engaging in sexual activity, check in throughout with those involved and ensure they’re happy with what’s happening and would like to continue.
The only sex you should be having is consensual sex.
Educate yourself on consent
We’ve got a range of resources on consent and healthy relationships you can check out on our website.
We also run regular community education sessions and professional training courses for high school teachers on consent and healthy relationships.
